Lilia Rene Harvord
Princess of pride
you're the only one i ever believed in
the answer that could never be found
the moment you decided to let love in
now i'm banging on the door of an angel
the end of fear is where we begin
the moment we decided to let love in
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♥ There was something on the mind of one Lilia Harvord. It wasn't something good, but it wasn't something bad. It was just something. Something worth thinking about. She knew it was going to eat at her until she figured out exactly what it was that was getting at her. Was it her grades? No. Her grades were still pristine. Perfect A's. She had good friends, and unless there was something she didn't know, no problems between them and her. Jaclyn had her fair share of problems- most being with Teddy. Harper... well, Harper, as much as Lili loved her, was a little nuts at times. She blamed her sin, seeing as Lili's sin sometimes drove her off the edge. And Jake? Well, Jake was the only real stable link in Lili's life. He was her best friend and closest ally, though she didn't agree with everything he said, mostly about vampires. Jake called them leeches and bloodsuckers, and Lili would hit him every time he said that in front of her. It was horrible and she hated hearing him say it, especially since one of her closest friends was a vampire.

♥ Lili's problem did not lie within her sin or her race. Lia was a pureblood werewolf graced with the sin of pride. Now, the sins took different effect in people. For example, one of her friends, Dougie Cleaver wasn't mad all the time, and yet he got the sin of wrath. Her friend Caitlin Edwards wasn't always greedy. Teddy and Christa weren't always jealous of something. However, in some cases, like Harper, she was always thinking about sex, seeing as her sin was lust. And Jared was always looking for a hook up. In the cases of hers and Damien's sin it was even different. Lili had an ego on her own. If she wasn't pride, she'd still be a bit full of herself. But when someone got her into the right convorsation, her sin would take full effect. She would talk about all her high points and never mention her downfalls. Damien was different then she was. She didn't quite understand him in the way she understood herself, but she understood him better than she understood Caitlin, Jared, Teddy or the others. She knew how her own sin worked, but not for her counterpart.

♥ For once in her life, Lili's problem did not concern or involve her sister. Isabella Harvord was her worst enemy. She hated her sister with a passion. She could never describe it as anything but jealousy and spite. Lili had been in the top seat of her family's heart for two years or so before Isabella came along. At first, Lili was excited to have a sister. She had someone to play with and to be her best friend. She saw the way her mother and her aunt were and wanted that for herself. But when the attention stayed on Isabella through the years, Lili got mad. She wanted the spotlight back. Izzy got everything. She was the one who wore the tiara. And Lili tried to be calm and just let her little sister's shine dim, but when it didn't, she got even more mad. She started to dislike her sister for having everything she didn't. Though Lili had the musical talent in the family (and she said that not out of pride and high self thinking, but of truth) Isabella stll got all the attention. And Lili didn't like it. She tolerated her sister for the longest time. She was always happy to be away from her, but she wouldn't say she hated her. It was when she was about fifteen that her world came crashing down. She was in competition with her sister, like always, this time over boyfriends. Izzy's boyfriend was cute, she had to admit, but her boyfriend was a fifteen on the scale of one to ten. And he was infatuated with Lili, or so it seemed. He was always with her and always telling her the things she wanted to hear. They were alone one night in an abandoned guest room after a date. The date was blurry at the edges, but she remembered everything else quite clearly.

♥ Lili remembered, down to the color of her shoes, what she was wearing. It was a white and black printed sundress. Her shoes were white, her hair was pulled back and she was wearing white eye shadow. He was looking stunning as always. She remembered thinking to herself as he started to unbutton his shirt that he was so much better than Izzy's boyfriend, and that he was perfect. She remembered asking him if he was sure he wanted to do this with her. He had nodded and they had started kissing. She had told herself he was the one and that this was the first of many log nights they would have together. She remembered waking up in her dorm with a note on her pillow, explaining how she got there. He brought her upstairs after they had both fallen asleep. She was still half asleep when he got her up and half carried her to her dorm. She remembered her room mates, Jaclyn especially, sitting on the foot of her bed, asking what had happened and how the hell she managed to get him of all people. Lili explained in light detail how the night had went and sighed of complete bliss and had the best day of her life.

♥ However, the best day of her life ended quite badly. Her boyfriend looked her dead in the eyes and told her he wasn't the one for her and she wasn't the one for him. He told her he had a great night the night before, but they weren't right for each other. Lili was heartbroken. She cried for a day and ate about three gallons of ice cream with Jaclyn at her side. The next time she saw him... he was holding hands with Isabella. She was crushed. Ever since that day, she had hated her sister and wanted nothing but to be better than her in every aspect possible. It had been the only thing on her mind in two years, and he was shocked when she realized it wasn't what was bothering her.

♥ Then what was bothering her? She hadn't written a song in days and hadn't picked up a camera in a month. She hadn't played her piano or skated in a while, which was strange for her. She passionate writer, photographer, musician and skater hadn't done anything she would normally do. She was in a creative slump, and it was bothering her. Was that it? Was that what was on her mind? No. That was a side effect of what was bothering her. She had been wandering around the school for somewhere near an hour before she finally stopped. She didn't look where she was, just walked in the door. It was empty. Good. Lili spun around in circles for a few minutes until she got dizzy and fell over. She laughed a little when she fell, but it wasn't a laugh of fun. She was laughing at how pathetic she felt. Lying on the gym floor, laughing to herself with her wild red hair around her. She didn't look like a lunatic at all, did she? She bit her bottom lip, trying to find the words to describe her problem. Simple. Lili was going crazy. Seventeen years had finally caught up to her and she was going mad.

♥ After the dizziness had stopped, Lili sad up and brought her knees to her chest. She looked at the ground in front of her before wrapping her arms around her knees. She put her head on her knees and bit her bottom lip, slowly beginning to cry.



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addressed to;; mathew valentine
alarm clock reads;; around seven or eight at night
ready or not
tears that have been shed;; one thousand, three hundred and four
mirror image;; click
chit chat;; [color=purple]GUESS WHO JUST WROTE THEIR LONGEST POST EVER! WOOT! -confetti- sorry it's badm and i know you have a lot of threads, so take your time on this, love. like the rainbow?