Post by jared kavallari. on Aug 28, 2008 2:23:35 GMT -5
Hi, I'm Sammeh and I miss you.[/font][/size]
My life has been pulling me 'round and 'round in circles lately. In fact it's driving me up the wall. I never really have much time for anything anymore. I haven't been around in a long time because of it. I mainly apologize to Jessie, 'cause she's been running this site by herself for a few months now. And I feel super super bad about it! I'm an admin too, I should be around. Lately I've been having issues with my boyfriend, we've been together for four months now, BIG SHOCKER THERE. I haven't had a relationship that long in forever, guys normally just leave me after a month or a few weeks for another girl. This one cares about me too much, he's suffocating, over protective, takes EVERYTHING personally (you basically can't tell him he's doing something wrong or he'll get upset), and FUCK he's just annoying. I have such a low tolerance for him now. It's stressing me out SO much, and it's sad that there is someone else I'd much rather be with. And then there is school, I have an incomplete class right now so I can't get a job until I finish it. I'm trying to catch up as quickly as possible, because my dad is buying me a car and I won't be able to drive it without gas money. ALSO I need the money because we're having financial issues, and I can never have money for things I need (but somehow they can buy me a car?). Like it'd be nice to have my own money, so my mom doesn't make me feel bad about how I cost too much money. I eat a lot for my size, andandand I always seem to need hairspray and other little things like that. Essentials. ANYWAY I'm getting one of those MG MGB's. It's a little british sports car, and they're shockingly at a reasonable price most of the time. Really cute. I'm pretty excited about that.
And then I'm losing friends left and right, bcause most of them weren't true friends to begin with. The judge me of the decisions I make, and talk about me as soon as I turn around, EVEN if the decision I have made makes me happy. My best friend just kindof vanished from my life basically. I don't know what happened really. I am glad to have the people that have proven me I can trust them; Kellie, Panda, Dylan, Jack, and Mikey. They're all I have left. I'm sick of caring what people thinking of me, I mean as long as I'm happy I shouldn't care right? Right. And I don't know I'm just a generally depressed person, I don't normally show it but I am most of the time. I've just been having a hard time, like when I DO have the time to go online sometimes I just don't do it . . Only because my depression turns me to the point that I can't stand to talk to people. I'm normally out and about with friends, only because they constantly drag me places. It used to never be that way. I used to ALWAYS be home. But, not anymore. I miss it most of the time. Or at least lately I have been. There are certain people that I ALWAYS used to talk to online, and I loved them (still do). But, I haven't talked to a couple in very long. They probably think I've forgotten about them period. :/ And then there is a couple that I talk to every now and again, but I never really get the time. So, I normally just text them.
EHHHHH. This is just a huge ass pointless rant, that no one will want to read. I actually have more to say, but I'd rather not. Sorry, for the rambling. But, the point is . . Most of the shit will be blowing over soon and I'll be back for sure. I'll be on at least once a day when I do come back for sure, and I'll be super active. <3
I miss all of you guys, and I'll be real excited when I'm back!
This was kindof like . . A half rant, half departure, half intro.[/color]